April | 2023 | Audrey's Journey with the Lord

Isaiah 60:22, “When the time is I, the Lord will make it happen.” This verse has been true to me. I just got preoccupied and destructed by the different temptations of the world. Despite what had gone through with my life, the Lord remained faithful. And I just got reminded recently, during my recent hospitalization that my truest hearts desire, even when I was a young girl, I have feared the Lord which carried through until now. That my only goal is to please the Lord, our God alone. It might sound too good to be true, or a kind of showbiz, but it is. The way that I was brought up by my Papa & Mama has a lot to do with it, and I think they both did raise us well. To grow with a strong relationship foundation with God and the Lord.

On April 14, 2023, I will be exactly a year as a Christian, my public declaration of being baptized and becoming an official follower of the Lord Jesus Christ Baguio last April 14, 2022. I am a proud member of the Jesus Christ Ekklesia Baguio. So many things happened in 1 year. Aside from the Urdaneta trip, no it didn’t exempt me from the challenges of life. If you are thinking that being a follower of Jesus, that challenge will go away but the more challenge that we have to face. We did it all for Jesus because as long as we are in Christ, more we are prone to the attacks of the enemy. And here is the good news, we have the presence of the living God always that make us not fear anything. So here comes November 5, 2022. I was hospitalized for I was due for my routine check but I accidentally caught the Covid virus at the hospital. Blessed because I was complete all my Covid vaccinations. It was a life-threatening experience for me because as you all know that I have lupus so I’m counted as someone who can be comorbidity which made my situation more complicated. I experienced shortness of breath, and I was even diagnosed with heart failure because of the fluids found in my lungs and heart. No wonder most sick people didn’t survive. So here’s my own horror story with blood transfusion. We are afraid of needles especially me who has a low pain tolerance but with the help of the Lord, I just imagined that He is holding my hand while having the transfusion. And my transfusion started to commence November 17 or 18, around 2 am. It will require 2 hours to transfuse or the blood will be wasted. She, the nurse started with the transfusion, it was smooth at first then she started to panic because of the time. So she started pushing the IV which was painful for me because of burning/stinging/pain at the IV site promptly. And because of the consistent pushing my body to react, I started to react, my body experienced uncontrollable chills, my blood pressure started to shoot up so is my pulse rate, blessed I have my brother, Angelo who watched me during my hospitalization, he comforted me while I was crying, I even said my goodbye to him because I also feared for my life. I’m also scared to die but looking forward to my death someday but not yet for like in Philippians 1:21 “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.”, this verse has comforted me & I thank and praise the Lord for His sustaining grace for my life. He allowed me to survive this exp erience. But with the grace of our Lord I was able to survive death again. I know that He is watching over me from up there.

Now, going back to my answered prayer. Even as a little girl, I always feel that there is someone looking out for me, guiding me, protecting me. I grew up in a Catholic family, Catholic school which made me have a relationship with God and Jesus. I normally would find talk to myself, because growing up as an only daughter, I felt alone and outcast from my two loving brothers. Little did I know that I was communicating everyday with Jesus. Most of my elementary years, I’ve been talking to the Lord. Especially, when I had my car accident when I was 8 years old. Whenever I was left alone I’m imagining that I’m talking with mother Mary and Jesus. It was so comforting to be able to talk with them. It made my recovery fast. Until things happen, I’ve been busy with school and as a young girl with boys just small crushes but I didn’t have boyfriends. Boy bands, in short I was putting attention with worldly things. That made me forgot about my relationship with the Lord. Until I graduated from college, started working, been busy with my own personal ambitions. Leaving the Lord on the side, though I still go to church once in a while. And to cut the long story short, when I started working in a call center, the more I forgot about the Lord. I even remembered telling Him, that my priorities need to come first and spare time with Him. Now that I’m having this constant communication with Him, that I have missed talking with Him. It just takes me having to get sick to remember Him again.

Until I got sick with Lupus last 2014. I even have the guts to even question Him, why me. Especially when I had my stroke the same year I was diagnosed. I was even depressed for almost a year. I could not accept what happened to me. Then I learned to seek Him again. With the help of my friend Delia, her persistence to reconnect me with the Lord. I was able to reconnect with the Lord. I’ve learned to read the bible again, devotions are part of my daily activity, then I started to have an constant, consistent intentional prayer again. Until my lupus started to flare again just this year, February. I thought that I’m going to die. I said my goodbyes again to my mom and brother. I felt pain like no other (or I might be over reacting). So my doctors suggested this lupus pulse therapy to us. It’s a combination of a high dose of steroids plus chemo. The only fear I had with needles was because of my past experience when I had my blood transfusion last November. But the Lord has never left my side, giving me strength to face my challenges. Now, my pulse therapy will last until September, Lord willing, until my brother’s wedding.

So my answered prayer has been answered all along. All along I thought that having a family of my own or having a career or having my own business or traveling the world or even a millionaire or having a masters degree would satisfy me. But in realizing my truest desire will. Now I can say that I will give my total obedience and submission to the Lord. I now understand that the sum of all I’ve been through was something I can use to be an inspiration to many. Equipping me, to be ready to show that there’s still hope for us. (I borrowed some of the lines from the short Christian movie ‘Frank vs God’)

“I asked for strength
and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom
and God gave me problems to learn to solve.
I asked for prosperity
and God gave me a brain and brawn to work.
I asked for courage
and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for love
and God gave me people to help.
I asked for favours
and God gave me opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted.
I received everything I needed.” By Hazrat Inayat Khan. Everything that happened to me, has a reason & a purpose. So He answered my prayer to be an inspiration. That’s why I made this school project when I was in 1 st year college.

So I will continue to please the Lord. And always practice the attitude of gratitude. And have this thinking to high view of the Lord and the right view of ourselves.

The Lord has always been faithful to my prayer. I almost didn’t remember it but He reminded me. So grateful to the Lord, for giving me a new purpose in life. I will continue to honor, glorify Him until my last breath. To Him I offer everything! To the Lord be the glory! Acknowledge Him always in everything we do. My daily prayer is Lord, you will be done.

And since I reconnected with the Lord. I told Him to try this old way of communicating with Him. It’s still one way but instead of me giving my prayer requests, now I start to listen to Him by consistent meditation on His word, religiously reading my Bible, constantly having an intentional prayer with Him. You will be surprised with what He can do, I experienced peace, I’m glowing, the experience of true joy and love. If you are going to ask me, I’m truly content with His love. I have had no boyfriend since birth but that is ok with me. The love of the Lord is enough for me. In Romans 8:28, says that “We know that in everything God works for the good of those who love him, whom he has called, according to his plan. So Lord I owe you everything that I am. ” To always seek His will for our lives not our will but yours alone.